The Joys of the Scottish Accent
Working at Phuket Thai Massage in Glasgow is usually a peaceful, relaxing experience. Calming music, fragrant oils, and the occasional snoozing client—what more could you ask for?
Well… maybe a universal translation guide for the Scottish accent.
So here’s what happened.
It was a quiet weekday afternoon. The scent of lemongrass was in the air, a client was blissfully enjoying their foot massage, and we were just discussing whether to order Thai curry or a sandwich for lunch. Then the phone rang.
Client on the phone (in a cheery Glaswegian tone):
“Awrite, just lettin’ ye know I’ll be in at sex.”
Us (trying to stay calm while mentally checking the booking system):
“…Excuse me?! We don´t do that!”
Client:
“Sex o’clock.”
Cue the pause. The raised eyebrows. The frantic internal panic:
Is this a prank? A typo? A very confident customer?
Should we be putting on calming music or dimming the lights for a whole different reason?
But then we remembered: it’s Glasgow.
He meant six.
Thai Massage and the Scottish Tongue
Here’s the thing—we absolutely love the local accent. It’s musical, full of charm, and often hilarious without meaning to be. But sometimes, especially when numbers are involved, it gets… a little spicy.
In Glasgow, “six” can sound an awful lot like “sex”. It’s not dirty. It’s just dialect. But when you run a massage shop, let’s just say it can cause some eyebrow-raising moments.
And this isn’t a one-off.
We’ve had people book for “half past sex”. We’ve had someone once say they wanted to “pop in quick before sex”. And we’ve learned, after the initial confusion and giggles, that it’s all part of the Glasgow experience.
How We Cope (and You Can Too)
- Smile and Clarify
We’ve mastered the art of the polite double-check: “Just confirming—you mean six o’clock, right?” Works every time. No awkwardness. Just laughs. - Enjoy the Banter
Our clients are brilliant. Half the time, they’re the first to laugh. One even said, “Don’t worry, hen, I get that a lot!” Honestly, it makes the day more fun. - Lean Into It
At this point, “sex o’clock” has become an unofficial inside joke. We might even make a T-shirt.
Why We Love It
Living and working in Glasgow means you’re never far from a good laugh—even when it’s unintentional. The Scottish accent brings flavour to everything, even a simple appointment call.
So if you ever ring Phuket Thai Massage and say you’ll be here at “sex”, we promise not to judge. We’ll just see you at six—and have the massage bed ready.
Glasgow, never change. We love you just the way you talk.